torned.

july 22, 2007, 7:22pm, bored...


so... i guess i'm still at my low point...

it's not that i can't understand what's wrong, it's just that sometimes, you'd rather supress these realities and cover them all up. i can't stand the harshness of life but hell... hahaha. ang labo...


okay, so i've decided to go back to my jock lifestyle... yep. varsity, here i come... but i do have a problem.... i'm torned...


i decided to try out for softball. a slot was available and i thought i might like it there... softbll was somewhat a natural sport for me... i find it easy to study and practice (albeit the rigorous training and the so called discipline imposed upon players) and i think i have the potential. hahaha. yabang... i was set to go and try softball until my teammate from vball asked me to try and go back to the team... shit. that was it. hahaha. i had some really rough times with the team but i can't deny the fact that i'm really flattered and that i started doubting my decision. it's clear to my former teammate that i want to transfer to softball. i know it's somewhat impolite and unethical but i really like the idea. i'm not sure if i'm up to the challenge of transferring but heck, i'll take the risk. i really want to go back somewhere and at the same time start from scratch... volleyball has been my life for the past so-so years of my gradeschool and highschool life and well, i do owe a lot to the varsity.

with my experience in the team, i'm really not quite sure what to expect if ever i do go back or if i don't. i had a good relationship with our coach but a sloppy one with my teammates. it hurts to say this, but i don't think i could ever go back to how things were before. ang hirap talaga eh. i'm up for both sports but i can't seem to really choose... hahaha.... ang labo ko... paulit-ulit.... anyway, i can't do anything. i really do have to choose between the two... it's not like we're from the us, pwede 2... hahaha.... i have until tuesday to decide. until then, i'd have to do some more soul searching and end up with the correct decision.







cheka.out.

procrastinate babehhh...

8:52pm, monday, cafe

so here's a quick entry:

it's been a while since i last entered anything here and it's because i don't have my pc... it's been hectic for me as well as i'm a little "college-bound" you see. i can't get quite creative as panicking's on my mind right now... hahaha.... i really do sound disturbed right? it's mainly because of stress and well, having to give up a lot of things without regaining anything from these glory days i've left behind. the future's ahead and uncertainty's setting in. there's no familiarity amidst these faces of people i see everyday and instead, they have been exchanged by my own psychological doubts, scares and sorrows. I really don't know what my doom would be at the end of this school year but i know i'm destined to serve. i might not get what i want now but i'll have my time... rejection's been a good companion but it's God's compassion that keeps me up. till we meet again beloved blog...





cheka.out.




p.s.


ang labo nito... but that's how my mind's running right now... peace.